Go check it out at Happiness-cafe.dk.

I will work on re-opening the English as soon as I have the time. There might go some months.

Take care

Best

Nicolai Bo Larsen

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As you might know, I just came home from my Europe travel. I spent a month traveling with Interrail with a very good friend of mine and we had some “fantastico” experiences throughout the travel (remember to pronounce “fantastico” with an Italian accent when reading ).

We started with an 11 hour train ride to Amsterdam, we were of course excited and just being in the train driving towards Amsterdam was a fantastic feeling (This positive feeling for sitting in a train for many hours would soon change).

To make a very long story short, I will just reel off the spots we visited after Amsterdam à Paris, Bordeaux, Porto, Lisbon, Barcelona, Avignon (and two small cities close to the French – Spain border I can’t remember the names of and 4 very small cities in beautiful Vaucluse in Provence)

I have now been home for 2 weeks and I have spent the time to optimize Happiness Cafe. There is still a lot of things that need to be done before I’m satisfied and you will see some changes over the next couple of weeks/months.

What I learned from my trip

Except this little update, I want to sum up what I learned from the different countries I visited along the way.

I will start the ball with the first place, Amsterdam.

What I loved about Amsterdam was their openness for all types of people. We can all learn to be more open towards other opinions or the choices they make. I love Amsterdam’s free spirit mentality and it’s definitely something we all can learn from, unleash you’re a spiritual guru sitting on the top of a mountain .

At the train station in Paris I had a glimpse of France friendliness that really impressed me. We were about to leave the train, when a woman has trouble with her luggage, right away a man spots it and carry her luggage out of the train. He had nothing else on his mind than help this lady out, he just offered his help and walked away afterwards. It was inspiring to watch, particularly because I’m not used to that friendly actions in Denmark, where I’m from.

The lesson I learned in Portugal was friendliness and openness. Whenever my friend and I had troubles finding a spot, we asked locals and not only would they give us directions, they actually followed us to the spots, this happen two out of two times. We met friendliness and openness everywhere on the streets and in the discos, where the young people was extremely friendly and open compared to other countries I been to including Denmark (note: before everybody get extremely drunk, then everybody is friendly ).

To sum up the lessons I learned:

- Allow everyone to be themselves without judging

- Remember to help out strangers on the streets, trains etc. even though it’s a little thing like carrying someone’s luggage out of a train.

- Be more friendly and open to strangers no matter how much my Ego tells me it’s wrong

What my plans are now

After my visit in Barcelona, I have chosen to move there, I’m lucky that one of my best friends shares the same dream and we will be moving there together. We have scheduled to move after summer.

I will use the next 4 months to improve Happiness Cafe, get in “Brad Pit in Fight Club shape”, save up more money for Barcelona and develop myself and my skills.

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Summary - I can’t describe the feeling I had after reading Lasse’s latest article (a little hint, this one ), but I’ll try. It’s incredibly honest, I felt very present, when I read it, because it’s one of those articles that just shakes you right back to this moment. Lasse says that being spiritual is not a mental thing, it’s not an idea, a meditation position or a breathing technique, you are a spiritual being and you don’t need any methods to become spiritual, because you have always been one. Lasse is currently working on his project Towards Peace, and you can read more about him here.

I’ve been going through much reflection recently. I have found that life is a strange thing, no matter how much we try to grasp life; it always slips away just when we think we have figured it out.

No matter how many spiritual ideas or concepts we study, life still works the same way. We can pretend to be more or less evolved as spiritual beings, and sit in meditation for many hours a day, but with what purpose?

In time we come to realize that none of our spiritual teachings works at all. We can struggle ever so much with refining our meditation posture or our breath. We can know that we are the embodiment of love, but if our understanding is just an idea in our head then it is just as worthless as the piece of paper I am writing this article on.

The first step to knowing is to understand, and most people get stuck here. If we don’t manage to get our new spiritual idea down at heart-level it’s useless.

Why?

When we are exposed to reality it will often challenge our beliefs in such a way that it is hard to hold on to them in the situation. We know that we are love, but when our beloved one is pushing the right buttons, we get furious and out of control. First we get mad at our beloved, and then anger turns into fear. We remember the idea that everything is love and we have failed to honour this idea. So either we give up our spiritual search or we intensity it, we read more ideas about love. We try to reinforce this idea. Every time we think we have it life throws something new at us, push our buttons from a different angle.

Then we might start to avoid those situations. We start to hide in our ivory tower, fortifying ourselves. We close down, even though we wish we could live with an open heart and the willingness to love people, no matter what their faults might be. Instead we choose to close ourselves up and start living the idea that we are open, but we are only fooling ourselves. Slowly we creep into the world of ideas, we read more books. We find friends who don’t challenge our ideas, but reinforce them.

We start to degenerate and feel frailer inside our great “spiritual shield”. We use great amounts of energy to uphold this shield and the illusion that we are evolved spiritual beings. We think we are living in accordance with some truth, but in reality we are not. We are living in the shadow land of truth. God knows it is much easier to live there, in the shadows; everything is easier, no real battles, not real scares, and no real challenges. We faithfully listen to our inner voice whispering “you are doing great”. We ignore the heavy lump in our stomach, that feeling of heaviness in the body, the stiffness of energy we go about with.

Spirituality is all about living it, and listening to what our bodies tells us.

Out of touch with ourselves

What I have found is that listening is one of the greatest keys to spiritual understanding. The Native American Indians spend a lot of time listening to nature. A woman who has lived among the Indians told me that she had spend seven years in silence when she started to learn from them.

She just listened, and when she wanted to say something she reflected on what she was going to say, and if it wasn’t according to truth she would keep quiet.

Most people today just want to hear themselves speak; we hardly listen to anyone at all, not even our own voice inside. We are busy drowning the silence in noise, because we are afraid to discover that we are alone. This is what you discover at first, then after some time you find comfort in the silence, the deeper you listen the more balanced you get.

I think that the more we listen the more we begin to know.

What is it that we begin to know?

Frankly I can’t express it in words, it is beyond words, and it is beyond meditation techniques. All it takes is to turn off the computer and mobile and sit down wherever you wish and start to listen. First we listen to the sounds around us, and then we delicately shift our attention to the inside and just sit there for as long as you like.

Everything around us is teaching us something

Most spiritual teachers say that every moment in life is an opportunity to awaken to truth, and they are right, we are just now aware of the possibility. Modern man doesn’t have the time to retreat to a monastery or a temple and sit there in silence until he awakens to truth. We are surrounded by people all the time and we interact in different relationships with people in various forms throughout the day, so why not use this opportunity. See all interactions with people as a form of Satsang. Satsang is an Indian term which means “an invitation to being”. So start to look at people as an invitation to be right there with them in that moment. Suspend all judgement and notions of right and wrong. Just try to grasp the raw experience of now.

One of my teachers told me that I was too much up in my head, and suddenly I realized that she might be right. I also discovered that being in our heads analyzing are also, in an odd way a form of love, just frozen. Like water has many forms, frozen, flowing, and gaseous and so on, such has love many ways of manifesting itself around us. In some people love is flowing like a river. We can feel it when we are in contact with them. In other people it is stuck, up in their heads; they have failed to bring the flow down to heart level. When we meet these people we should show compassion. This is the part I, find most challenging. Because these people push our buttons and challenge us, and instead of seeing them as bad, we need to suspend our judgement and see them as people where love has become frozen. This will open up our own hearts even more and make us more receptive to ourselves and other people.

I have come to realize over the past couple of days that spirituality is really not a complex entity after all. It is just a matter of introducing a few simple keys into ones life. Keys that help to free the compassionate beings that are stuck behind our frozen social masks imposed to us by society and our upbringing. I have also realized that I need to know much more before I can teach anyone anything. I will spend more time listening to myself from now on, and celebrate life more than I have done. It is not that difficult to live after all.

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Summary -In this blog post Anders breaks down how a successful approach is done. It’s more theoretical than his latest articles and will give you a clear picture of how it’s done. It’s really interesting, because Anders explain how a good seducer is aware of the small gestures there is going on during the seduction from the start line to the finish line. You can find products from Anders at his website Powerful Attractions, and you can read more about him here.

How would you like to know the 7 steps to efficient approaches?

Once you master these steps to the tee, you will be able to approach anyone, anywhere. Breaking it down took some work, as the whole process typically takes no more than 15 seconds! Within those 15 seconds, there are a few things you need to be consciously aware of:

1. Identify your group

2. Identify the initial ”target girl” in the group

3. Assess the group dynamics

4. Identify logistical possibilities

5. Approach based on best logistical possibility

6. Deliver your opener

7. Lock-in with the group

1. Identify your group

Let’s say you see a group of two cute girls, and you decide to approach them.

2. Identify your target

For the sake of this example I’ll assume that you like blondes, and it just so happens that there is one brunette and one blonde.

3. Assess the group dynamics

You are now going to decide which girl to talk with after you open the group. The rule of thumb is to handle potential challenges as quickly as possible before investing time in the blonde. This way the “obstacles,” I.E. friend of the blonde, other guys in the group and persons entering the group once you are in it, will lose their potential blowout force.

If there are other guys in the group when you open it, and you decide not to “handle” them quickly, you will find yourself in a situation where you are competing for the attention of the group later on.

If you pay too much attention to the blonde compared to that of her friends, the friends will soon try to sabotage you by blocking you out or otherwise give you a rough time verbally.

Like with other guys present, if someone else opens the group after you did, you will also be competing with them for the attention of the group – Unless they are there through your initiative and invitation: You invited them, so you own the frame of interaction.

In our example, the blonde is sitting very close to the brunette. The brunette is randomly chatting with some other guy. We can now conclude that the brunette and the other guy are obstacles that you need to deal with to achieve a higher probability of success in getting anywhere with the blonde.

4. Identify logistical possibilities

The other guy is standing up while talking with the brunette and the blonde is listening in. You spot no immediate possibilities to sit down but, 6 seats down the way you notice an empty chair.

5. Approach based on best logistical possibility

Your options are always to go and stand with the group while talking to them, or to sit in their group and talk with them. To simply walk up to the group and open, whilst standing at the edge of the group is one of the most common choices out there. It is also one of the worst choices available in terms of achieving the single most important external measurement criteria when opening groups: Lock-in (see # 7).

There are many ways to open with high impact; you could walk up to the group and daringly ask for the hand of one of the girls only to take her seat… Invite her to sit on your lap if she protests afterwards.

Another possibility, if you feel like engaging in a less controversial style, is to get the empty chair and bring it with you to the group. To me this method is the single most casual and sub-communicating approach –However we choose to look at it, bringing your own chair with you to a group of strangers, underlines that you are determined to stay there!

6. Open the group

Observe the group in general or certain members of the group as you approach. Your goal is to gather information about their moods, any of their clothes or “bling” that strike you as interesting, if they radiate any sort of signals that attract you, or something going on in their immediate vicinity. What is the energy level, and how do you alter your body language to match theirs? With every step towards the group, proactively seek eye contact with any of its members, especially the person you decided to engage immediately after your initial opener.

Reviewing step 3 in combination with the group dynamics of this virtual group, you engage the guy or the female friend first – OR, simply engage the entire group at once.

Here are some random examples of neutral openers that also serve as additional information gatherers.

“Hi guys! You look like you’re having a great day. What’s going on?”

“Where’s your fourth? You lot look like people that are here to experience something exciting.”

“You look cute together. How do you know each other?”

7. Lock-in

The group will offer you attention now. Most likely they will all take a glance at you and sum you up in a heartbeat. This part is tricky for many guys – some feel it’s awkward, and in many cases like the one above you may experience an attempt to freeze you out of the group, before you even made it in!

Here’s my advice: KEEP STANDING STILL with your mouth closed until someone responds, they will always respond eventually. If you experience total backturns, re-assess the dynamics, and open again! All you need is a response! Social pressure, … or curiosity towards your intentions will drive that response. Eventually, one of them will crack and ask you what you are doing, which, … no matter the tone, … is a GREAT thing.

The instant someone reacts to your opener, sit down on your chair and follow through. If their response was driven from negativity, simply ignore it and plow your way through by maintaining your initial conversation thread. If it is a positive response, use the content of the response to open a subject change and take it from there.

Where do you sit? The simple reply is: As centrally seated as possible. You do not want to be in the outer ring of the group, let the other guy have that position. Simply gesture to one of the girls to move slightly apart (again, once you get the timing down and do this immediately after their first response, they will comply). After you have seated yourself, or while doing so – up to you – initiate a one to one thread with the female friend, and casually involve the other two from time to time.

8. Game On

Eventually the other guy will run dry, or you will effectively draw in the attention of the girl you are not talking to. Again, make sure to involve everyone in your topics now and then, as this enables you to actively direct THEIR conversation threads and for you to switch conversational partners later on. This principle (multi-threading) will be described in more detail in one of the next blog articles.

Note: Actually, Anders have made a video about this topic as well, it`s located at his blog and it`s definitely worth viewing. If you want to stay tuned with new articles on Happiness Cafe, you can sign up for my newsletter or the RSS feed. You find the newsletter sign up in the upper right side bar and the RSS feed in the upper right side of the website.

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Body image is a term that is used to describe the perception of a person’s own physical appearance. So in short, when you see your reflection, what do you see?

Do you smile with satisfaction?

Do you find areas that you think need work? Are you unable to even look at your own reflection?

The answers to these questions form our body image. But that’s not the only factor that influences our body image; we also incorporate the reactions of others to our bodies. We pay attention to the comments we get from others, we internalize the looks and interpret them based on our own sense of self. These issues directly link to sexual satisfaction. Here’s how:

• The better a person feels about their physical appearance, the more likely they are to be comfortable naked.
• The more comfortable someone feels naked, the more likely they are to be sexually expressive.
• The more sexually expressive someone is, the more likely they are to be experimental and less sexually inhibited.
• The more sexually expressive and uninhibited someone is, the more likely they are to seek sexual satisfaction.

There are several ways to begin working on body image issues. One can develop a healthy lifestyle where they eat healthy, exercise, get enough rest and sleep, and take vitamins. This option has been shown to have positive effects on one’s appearance and therefore, their body image. But I have found that the most effective way of tackling body image issues is through loving your body as it is, now, at this moment, flaws and all. After all, there is no such thing as a perfect body. We are created in all shapes and sizes. The things that we find troubling about our bodies are often the things that make us uniquely us and beautifully human.

Changing our thought patterns often changes the way we react to and feel about things. So if you are a woman that struggles with some extra weight around her mid section then that is the area that needs affirming. Look at that midsection in the mirror. Talk to that section of your body telling it how much you love it and appreciate it for being the very core of your body, the area that holds all of your parts together. If you are a man struggling with balding, stand in the mirror and tell yourself how distinguished you are, and how wise and intelligent your balding head makes you look. No matter what the issue. Affirm yourself.

Incorporating these new beliefs will greatly improve your chances for sexual satisfaction. You will find that your inner critic will be silenced during intimate encounters. There will be no more whispers in your head about what your partner thinks about your belly or balding head because you will have successfully created a new reality for yourself.

When seeking sexual satisfaction, one must work from the inside out. Changing outward appearances will only change other’s perception of you. Changing your negative self thoughts changes how you feel about yourself, greatly influencing your behaviors and increasing your chance for sexual satisfaction

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One of the questions, I’m often asked as personal trainer and holistic lifestyle coach, from my clients are, which results they can expect in such a personal training sessions?

How many pounds will I lose?

Do you think I can get my lean body and flat stomach back as it was 5 years ago or before pregnancy?

I feel tired and stressed, can this help?

The answer is YES, you can get the flat stomach, and your desired slim body back (even if you never had it) and you will surely experience increased energy, profits and wellness.

I have discovered, that the great secret to success is that no matter what your goal is (including weight loss, flat stomach, firm thighs, increased energy, wellness and profits, healthy lifestyle, avoiding stress) it always comes back to your willingness and responsibility for a healthy lifestyle.

A short time ago, I heard Paul Chek `s (which is one of my mentors) definition of what health is, which is the best and most telling definition, I ever have heard.

Health = willingness to take responsibility for yourself

It means, if a person wishes the flat stomach and sleek body back, the person must start to focus to achieve the best and lasting results, which means taking responsibility and live a healthier lifestyle, with all the factors that covers.

“So you should not lose weight to be healthy, however you will lose weight when you are healthy!

It was exactly what one of my clients did, Lene a lady mid forties. She came with a burning desire to lose 6 kg, and turn back time 10 years, when she had a stronger body, more energy and wellness.

When I met Lene first time, she was training 4-5 hours per week, mainly spinning and running, although it was her clear approach to weight loss, how she could get even more training hours in the program, because she (and many others) was proved that more training would boost the weight loss.

Fortunately I got her convinced that we should use a little more holistic approach to the project, and instead of only focusing on weight loss, we should focus on improving her lifestyle to an increased health, which would provide a much healthier and longer-term weight loss.

We started seting some goals and making a plan for the course, so we always had something to go after. While we talked about the importance of her thougths of herself and others. Lene had “struggled” with the extra pounds in a few years now, she was really tired of her body and was convinced that it would never succeed her to get her body back, which is absolutely not a proper mindset for success. Instead we got Lene convinced that, yes of course, it would succeed and she would start to visualize herself as the person she wanted to be (instead of the person she did not want to be) with a sleek, strong and “young” body.

Something which I soon discovered by Lene, and who happens to right many people, was that she had a very rapid and shallow chest breathing, which leads to chronic stress, lack of energy and often tension in the neck with headaches as a result. Lene had an exercise where she, 2 x 5 min. a day, had to be proved on his breathing with deep breathing in through the nose, down in the stomach and out through the mouth.

Of course her diet was also an important part of the program, and Lene was surprised that she actually got to eat more than she did before we started. We removed pasta, rice, white bread, sugar and fruit juice from her diet, and instead she should  eat meat, fish, poultry, nuts, lots of fruits and vegetables. Lene thought it was most difficult to do without pasta and white bread, but fortunately after a week, she did not miss it anymore. Fruit juices, limonade and coffee was replaced with 6 to 8 glasses of water a day and green tea.

We started to cut spinning down to once a week, and instead introduce functional strength training three times a week with exercises as squat, lunges, pull ups, ball exercises, cable exercises and extent exercises. Strength is a very effective form of training when it comes to weight loss because it increases metabolism and burning fat.

The last thing that we introduced to the lifestyle differences of Lene, was to ensure that she got the rest and restitution, which she needed. I advised Lene to go to bed at last 22.30, because the sleep we get before midnight is very important to “rebuild” the body after the day’s activities. You could say that the hours you sleep before midnight count double. Lene received some extent exercises, which she had to do daily, which also works very relaxing and rethink the body.

The outcome of the process of 6 weeks:

Lene lost 6 kg and 21 cm around the waist, hip and thighs. She says “I have it much better than before, with a much higher self-esteem. I have a beautiful body position right now and I feel much stronger. And then it should also be mentioned that the back problems, I have had since my youth, yes they are largely gone now. ”

And now, remember to post a comment to this blog post (and not be a lazy guy not doing it), what I will like to now is:

1. What is your body and health goal?
2. What is your most important question when it comes to achieve your goal?

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Note: This blog post is delivered by Chris, I found this beutiful letter on her profile and asked to share it with you. And as you see, she said yes

Today is a day of peace. I know that word has many strong connotations in this moment in your world. To me it means this: It means that this moment invites you to go all the way into your center; to feel that, to know that so well that it comes with you in every act, thought and feeling. The center is where you are undeniably connected to all life and one with spirit. If you breathe that fully right now, then you will witness everything else with trust.
That is peace…

..To me peace is not the end of war. It is not settling the fights. It is the constant commitment to going to the center in every moment and acting upon the truth. It is the natural state of those who live with love…..

You may find great pressures to fight those who want to end the fighting. In elemental language it is simple. It is adding more fire to the fire. Eventually it will go out, but only after it has consumed every bit of fuel the earth mother has to offer. If you fight war, you enter into a karma that feeds it and makes it look inevitable…

Feeding karma is supporting an old paradigm that is instead ready to die. If you listen to your heart and not to all of the other distractions, you will know what I am saying. Whenever there are disturbing things happening in your world, you have the opportunity to go into yourself and find why these things disturb you. Ask for each of the voices that is uncomfortable, in pain, and afraid.
Those old wounds and voices are the places where you still resist peace.
The only way to live with peace is to identify the old wounds that you still keep festering and embrace them. You do not fight them, you do not argue with them, you do not bully them into understanding why they are wrong. All of these things just increase the fighting in you and the fighting in the world. Resisting love in any way and in any form is the source of all war…

If you choose love as your way of life, then the great, and perhaps the only, gift you have to offer is to be wholly responsible for every moment and part of your reality. If you witness violence, then it is your responsibility to see where you are violent still. All of your outer violence echoes from an inner battle. Somewhere within you, you fight and resist embracing some part of you. If you did not you would completely surrender to all things and moments without thought and need. You would know that everything is a gift to grow your field.
This is trust…

Trust is in your nature instinctual. But when you hold yourself separate from life itself, it is hard to remember trust, let alone respond to it.
You may wish to teach yourself your instincts. You can do this by choosing to act with trust every single moment.
It may be most useful to realize that in these bodies, you are sponges.

You come here to absorb all the experiences.

You choose to experience separation and love both.

And it is up to you to choose what you will focus on.

This is the way of a two-legged with spirit.

Feel all of the earth walk and then stand in your freedom.

Then choose the earth that you wish to live with.

You have responsibility.

It is your great gift.

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Set aside all involvements and let the myriad things rest. Zazen is not thinking of good, not thinking of bad. It is not conscious endeavour. It is not introspection. Do not desire to become a Buddha; let sitting or lying down drop away. Be moderate in eating and drinking. Be mindful of the passing of time, and engage yourself in zazen as though you are saving your head from fire.

– Dogen Zenji

This article is a continuation of the previous article: The art of meditation – the road to Buddhahood

If you haven’t read that article yet, it might be best to start there. But this is not just a random article; it is also an excerpt from the book I am writing at the moment called Towards Peace. The release date is still unknown as I just started writing a couple of months ago. Hope you like it.

Now we have sorted out the outer structure in the previous article, so let’s begin.

Most people can sit down and cross their legs, but if you don’t know what is actually going on inside you, and start noticing yourself, then the posture is just a posture. The posture is important, but the mind set, the way you approach your meditation is even more important. There is an old Chinese saying that goes like this:

Before I studied the art of Zen at tree was just a tree, and a mountain was just a mountain, now when I study the art of Zen a tree is not longer a tree and a mountain is no longer a mountain, but now when I have mastered the art of Zen, a tree is just a tree and a mountain is just a mountain.

This describes the dropping away of concepts of the mind, a way of seeing clearly, a way of having a broader focus, a way of being able to “take in” more of life, more of the moment. A lot of Zen books describe the inner life of Zazen, the way ones mind-set should be upon meditation.

There has been written volumes about this, and sometimes it is more confusing than helping. One of the best books about the mind-set behind Zazen is Omori Sogens book “an introduction to Zen training” which I can highly recommend.

So how does the mind works in regards to Zazen meditation? We see the world through our eyes and our experiences are heavily filtered by our different perceptions of reality, created by cultural, social and family values. So every time we see the world we see it contrast to something else. For instance, when is a person rich? If a beggar has a one dollar bill is he considered rich when he is compared to a person with no money? In a relative sense, yes he is. But is he considered rich compared to you who has a steady income, no. Everything in life consists of opposites, and we compare these opposites with each other all the time and this is one of the reasons that we “suffer” or experience hardships. Because we are so focused on what others have and what we don’t have that we forget what we actually have here in this moment. We forget the present because we are caught up in a future wish for something better, and this is one of the things that create that underlying dissatisfaction that most people have. You might say you don’t have it and that you are happy always, but behind that smile behind that mask the dissatisfaction is lurking beneath the shadows, and we have to be aware about it. If we are not aware, it might strike us when we least expect it, when we let down our guards.

Zazen is a way of sitting down, in quiet, to once again look at those beliefs about the world and yourself. To examine these beliefs and to delve into the nature of them and ask yourself “is this really true” - “is this really how the world IS?” and most often we realize that it is not how the world is, it was just how we happened to perceive it in the given moment. With Zazen we start to loosen our perceptions, we start to develop another way of seeing the world around us, in a way more intense, but in another way less intense. What do I mean about this? When we say that a person perceives the world very intense we speak mostly about feeling. That we go from depressed to happy the same day or week, but this is not what I mean. When I say intense I mean an overall awareness of the things that are happening around me in the given moment, and how my system reacts to them. If someone yells at me or I get scared I feel a contraction in my stomach area, I feel the defence mechanism at play, I start to realize that the body is a very subtle mechanism, which is capable of registering almost all the subtle movements. So a word of advice would be to start to develop more awareness, start to notice how your body reacts in different situations.
Zazen – Expectations

Before we sit down in Zazen one of the most important things that need to be dropped is the expectation of attaining something. Because Zazen is not about attaining anything, in fact it is about dropping something. Heavy loads of; worry resentment, pride, anger and other things limits our way of life.

In reality meditation is just sitting down on the pillow, without trying to manipulate your experience of the given moment. When I say “manipulate” I speak about the tendency to control ones breath, posture, and position of hands, of constantly forcing ones thought back to present. As long as we are trying to do this we are manipulating our experience of the moment, and when we do this there is someone manipulating. You can look at it in two ways, there is the one who meditates, the meditator, and there is meditation. Adyashanti says “meditation is to let go of the meditator” because the meditator is the person who wish to attain something with the meditation practice.

It is like seeing a flower. There are two ways of seeing it. One is “I see a flower”, where the flower and I are two separate entities, not at all connected, or this is what we think. And there is “seeing the flower”. In “seeing” the flower we just notice the flower, we are not separate from the experience and we don’t pass any judgements about the flower. We don’t label the flower; we just see it in all its beauty. Our focus is wide and open and not narrowed down.

You do the same thing in meditation. Most mediators narrow their focus, they focus on their mind and the thought in their mind and they desperately try to force the thought away, but this is not at all possible to do, thoughts will always be there. Then what to do? Instead one should try to widen the lens, widening ones focus to encompass the body, the mind, the pillow and the room, trying to include everything in the room with your attention. Not by looking, but by noticing with your awareness. Just try this out, it might be difficult at first but this is the key to deepening your awareness.

During the day we shift our awareness back and forth, but mostly we have a very narrow focus, so our problems seem much bigger and threatening than they actually are, because we aren’t flexible, so by shifting our awareness we gain a much greater patience and respect, and our problems seem much smaller.

So the real point of meditation or of focusing is to be taken in by life itself. Feeling alive, and feeling the people around us. To shatter the silken thin veil that separates us from the true experience of life. Of course we are experiencing life now, this is not my claim. My point is that there are various degrees of embracing life. One can do it with a closed or open heart, which one you choose is up to you. In Zen we say yes to the yes and yes to the no. Accepting what IS.

The mudra

To help us in focusing we can use the Mudra, the hand posture of Zazen. The mudra is often referred to as the mirror of Zazen. If your focus get too narrow and you get lost in thought your mudra tends to get more tense and this tension goes to your shoulders and then to the rest of the body, but by relaxing in the hands, and by checking your mudra from time to time, you can reconnect with the present moment and get more focused while you are sitting.

Now go sit on your pillow and start to meditate, there are no excuses for not doing it.

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If you combine changing the world with being an activist, who spends 50 hour a week serving food for hungry people in Africa or taking care of orphanages in Peru, then you’re probably sharing the same assumption like the most of the world. Mother Teresa said:

“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing”

I know it sounds like a HUGE deal to change the world, but really, it don’t have to be. You don’t have to look further than yourself or take a look outside your front door, there are many people waiting for a miracle to happen. Maybe someone just lost a job, a cherished relationship or a great friend and needs one to speak to.

Then you might ask:

“How do I change the world by doing something like that?”

I’m glad you asked These losses are followed by negative emotions, which affect every part of the person’s life and will affect the lives of many others as well, such as friends, family or a stranger walking down the street.

These people are looking for a miracle to happen, and you can help turning their world around by creating some positive emotions or give them the knowledge they need to get out of their given situation. The miracle they are searching for can be you.

Not only will you help this person, but your actions wil reach out to many others than just this one person you help. I will explain it later.

Changing the world starts with changing yourself

Gandhi said:

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world”

If you change yourself, you’re not only being an example for the people in the world, you will actually change the world. Maybe you haven’t been aware of it before, but what you do might give a lot of people headaches or joys in life. If you are walking around with all your negative emotions, it will be expressed in your actions and people will pick up on that and absorb it. It works the exact same way if you’re positive; it will be absorbed by people all around you.

“Though I might travel afar, I will meet only what I carry with me, for every man is a mirror. We see only ourselves reflected in those around us. Their attitudes and actions are only a reflection of our own. The whole world and its condition has its counter parts within us all. Turn the gaze inward. Correct yourself and your world will change”

- Kristen Zambucka

We all see the world through our special defined glasses, which are made by our beliefs, values, experiences, knowledge etc.

Every idea and thought that your mind can think of, go through these special defined glasses. These glasses can make us behave in unhealthy ways or make us perceive the world with unhealthy beliefs. The great thing about them is that you can change them.

Let me throw some examples out in the air:

If you believe that the only way to change the world is by helping out in Africa, Peru or some other developing country, then you won’t see the possibilities in changing the world which you know, the neighborhood or country in which you live.

But if you had a belief that you can change the world wherever you are, then your special defined glasses will find the opportunities for you, right where you are.

OR

You can be making a great effort to change the outer world, but if you’re rooted in your negative emotions in your inner world, it won’t be a lasting change. Eventually you react upon your negative emotions and you will sabotage what you have been working on by making some bad decisions.

If you want to change the world, it can be as simple as changing yourself and it’s definitely the first place to start.

How can you change yourself? You might ask.

Well, I won’t go deep into it now, I will write some articles about it, but affirmations, positive thinking, basic exercises from NLP (secret ninja tricks ), new knowledge and experiencing a paradigm shift are some ways to change your inner world.

I’m sure you will find a lot just by googling the key words.

How to change the world where you are

I have made an incomplete list to get you started. There are of course many other actions that can be taken. Be creative and I know you will find many others.

I’m also certain that you are already doing some great actions in order to change the world, you’re just not aware of it. Become aware of it and make changing the world your hobby.

But with no further a due, here comes the list:

- Finish a conversation with a genuine “have a great day”.

- Throw a smile after a stranger in the mall.

- Crack a joke to a stranger in the supermarket.

- Help your neighbor with mowing the lawn.

- Give a homeless guy a sandwich.

- Show appreciation to the people, who are important to you.

- Sponsor a child in Africa.

- Lend your ear to an elderly person

- Join an internet forum and help people with their challenges.

- Join one of the many groups, which are spreading the word of peace on Facebook.

- Do something special for your girlfriend/boyfriend.

- Pick up garbage from the ground.

- Buy a little gift for someone you really appreciate.

- Donate money to charity or an organization which helps others

- Tell someone about Happiness Cafe (Yes I know, lame, but I had to put in here )

As you see, these examples are very easy to use daily and there are tons of others. It’s really easy to change the world and it isn’t hard work. You will feel a deep satisfaction when you have helped another.

Your actions start a chain reaction

“kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless..”

- Mother Teresa

If you practice changing the world with these easy actions, then you will start a chain reaction of positive emotions, which will spread, and reach many people.

If you sent off a stranger with a joke in the supermarket, she might be empowered to forwarding a positive action, she smiles to a stranger walking down the street and the new stranger feels empowered, and he will be extra nice to his wife later that day, and then the wife will send some positive further and so on it goes. (I hope you by now get the picture that it goes on )

Your joke created a chain reaction, which ended up affecting 20 people or more. It sounds crazy that an action like a joke or a smile can change the world, but it really does and the power in making these actions everyday has a huge potential.

You can literally change the world wherever you are.

What are you currently doing to help changing the world?  If you concentrate in 5 minutes, I’m certain you find something (It’s everything that place a positive feeling in another ones heart). If you can’t come up with any action, then what will you do today to change the world?

Have a fantastic day

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It’s challenging to present someone like Will Smith in short terms, because Will has achieved so much in his life, he has been successful as a musician, actor and film producer, which are 3 of the major entertainment medias in the world.

When you have achieved something extraordinary as Will has, then you have some good strategies to approach life, well, now he’s about to tell us.

I found this YouTube video of Will speaking about his keys to life.

What are your keys to life?

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